Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Caffeinanxiety

Ever since I overheard someone say that people with arthritis shouldn’t drink caffeine because it is an inflammatory, I have seriously laid off that wonderful little legal upper. But in these short winter days when my mood regularly plummets toward blue in the shade of navy or midnight, I figured I could use a little pick me up. Well, one cup of Earl Grey later and I am Michael J. Fox in Bright Lights, Big City. A plus side of this is that I read my usual 30+ blogs in less than 20 minutes. A downside is I am deeply concerned about the my friendships as fomented by the peppering of quotes in Robert Genn’s Twice Weekly Letter.

First, I do not think I have kept my friendships in constant repair. I doubt I’ve even kept them in sporadic repair. And this explains why the hardest question for me on the FBI background check is name five people who are not related to you and who you have known well for over five years. But background checks aside, I am concerned. Not concerned enough to join a social networking site and start stalking my old friends, but concerned.

Second, the weird thing is I think about these long lost friends all the time, to the point that I have to consciously remind myself to stop clinging to the past and live in the present. But they don't know that. And how creepy would it be for me to send a card that says, "By the way, I think about you all the time. Today, while I was chopping squash, I almost cut off my thumb because I was thinking about you. But this card is it. I'll keep forgetting your birthday. I won't respond if you write back. I'm not including my phone number, because I never answer the phone and hate to return calls. But I'll feel guilty forever about not maintaining our friendship, and every so often I will wonder what you are doing right this very instant, and every time I chop squash I will think of how once I almost cut my thumb off because I was thinking of you."

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